Parents either learn by experience, intuition or by suggestions. Trial & Error, brings them the desired results, however the struggle to have a comfortable parenting is rather nerve racking for most !
Our casual research within our parent community shows that , most parents want their children to be the very best and some (mostly ladies) have even sacrificed their professional careers for playing the role of a good parent. What they believe, is the need of a chunk of time devoted to the child. What the child really wanted was spend more time with his/her peers rather than the parent ! Thus starts the first struggle of generation gap.
Train up a child in the way he should go;
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
The Bible: Proverbs 22:6
We also discovered that several hi-flying parents have found a novel formula for quality time. Less time, more results. So they shop for an expensive toy and the fine gift wrapping catches the child’s eye and behold they can absolve themselves of further responsibility. Many dads are notorious for buying an expensive looking imported chocolate from the airport stall just as they land at their home city, as if to compensate for their long and frequent absence from home. Better still is a gadget. Getting a kid hooked to a mobile or a play station is the best way to keep them off the parents back while keeping them momentarily happy.
It should be clear to most parents that while they appear pleased with their current strategy, it’s a great disservice to parenthood. Gifting is not the path towards better bonding.
Ill defined, yet most parents rate this as a top priority. Unfortunately, children learn less from lecturing or following some rule book and more by observation. A child with poor values, most likely has parents who practice poor values.
We have evolved a mantra that’s quality time with a schedule and living the values; the real differentiator for the future. Most of these techniques will consume just a few minutes each day, however the preparation and thought proceeding these few minutes is quite something.
Enjoy the Parenting Experience! Kids grow up faster than we imagine !
Teach a Trick / Short-cut or a Magic or even a Puzzle to the child. Look at the child when he/she fights with you to crack the code. Hardly a time taker with the child, getting the right Puzzle in place is quite a task, considering that it’s a every Monday task !
Play a Board Game with your child. If you can manage to come in early, take the extra effort to play along with the other tiny tots (friends of your child). BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS.
Sit down with your child with his/her school bag, teachers notes, home assignments , projects , almanac and what have you. Look up homework remarks, incomplete written work. Try and ask some impromptu questions on topics or lessons covered. This is a no nonsense supportive day. GET ENGAGED.
Share an old world story, incidence, happening. Get the child to connect with years gone by. A sense of history will make everyday living worthwhile. Caution yourself to not blunder here with your popularity vote quest. You are your child’s hero. Don’t try and become a cheap imitation. BOND.
Get your Child to be part of some house-hold drudgery work ! Teach and participate in something like cleaning your car, washing their bicycle , dusting cupboards, arranging old newspapers, washing clothes, folding clothes, arranging the book rack etc. Get innovative like ask them the expiry dates of medicines at home ! Make it interesting and get them to respect work. BRING A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY.
Allow your child to gossip about his/her life. Don’t investigate anything, just play sport. PLAY THE BOUNCING BOARD. You will be surprised that children, who normally despise the adult lecturing, will actually seek your advice in this format.
This is a stock taking day. Pending jobs and leisure rule most homes on a Sunday. Getting up late starts the day on a lazy note, not that it’s wrong for one day a week to slouch. Sundays is Day 7 or Sunday is Day 1 ? Depends of how you view it, in the weekly cycle. How about getting the future in place with the time segment of one week? How about breaking the Larger Goal into a mini week sized goal? Involve your child in the Goal Setting, Planning, Strategizing, Actioning, Resource allocations, responsibility fixations, realignment of priorities, analyzing on what went wrong and corrective measures etc. All predictable events and activities can be put in place in advance , leaving intellectual space free for life’s uncertainties.
- Keep a mental note of the exact 'thing', 'passion' your child has and get it as a surprise gift on every 1st Sunday of the month. It could be a very inexpensive thing like a colorful shoe lace or a new launch (TV ad) biscuit. SHOW CARE.
- Become an amateur detective and dig out a 'secret' of your child. Give it out as an 'all knowing parent' once a month and the child will dread that day! Display a fair bit of "it’s okay" maturity and things will ease out while next time your piece of advice will be heard with better attention.
- Community Project. The community being your family. It could be a monthly outing, shopping , movie , drive/trip etc. Take it up as project and involve the children. You will be surprised at their brilliant ideas and wonderful support.
- Buy at least one creative item per month. Make sure, it’s a difficult puzzle / toy / game. Your child will master it and that will make him/her the local creative leader.